Devotions
Some kind of prayer
I mentioned the other day how my kitchen is being remodeled, and my builder is named Bob. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about paint and shims and Craftsman-style interiors and even took a field trip to the orange box store once to look at flooring. Bob is also a devout Christian and when he’s working, whether I’m home or not, he usually plays Christian music (reggae, gospel, R&B…). Not that long ago I asked him what church he attends. I was not prepared for the flood of information I received, but primarily this was his point: the world is his church. Every day is an act of devotion. Bob tries to make people’s lives better by his work, whether it’s with a hand saw or by handing them a Bible. Despite my own lifelong rejection of Christianity in general, I found I liked a lot of what Bob said. The world is my church, too. I try to improve my life and others’ lives by my actions, too.
Yesterday I drove to Crow Agency to record some teachers pronouncing words in Apsáalooke1 (Crow) to insert into a language assessment I’m making for them. I needed about 100 individual words pronounced. Not that much, actually. On the phone last week I suggested, “One of you could record them into your phone and text them to me…” Into the profound silence I added, “…or I could drive over there?” Crow Agency is 325 miles away, or 6 1/2 hours by Montana measurements. But what a beautiful time of year for a cross-state drive.2 The maples of Missoula are flaming red and orange, yellow larches polka dot the green mountainsides, and golden rivers drench their cottonwood sentinels in melted sunlight.
As I sped along, I finished up the audiobook Wild and Precious about Mary Oliver, which features many others commenting on what the great poet meant to them. In it the celebrated chef and author of Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat, reflects on her own work in the world:
It’s funny, I’m not religious, I don’t pray in any sort of organized way, but I would say my relationship to the spiritual has certainly developed. And I think even my understanding of what my role is in the world as a cook and why I even care about food or cooking, I understand it now much more clearly that whatever I do. Whether it’s cooking for people I love, cooking for myself, writing a recipe, trying to teach someone how to make jam, whatever…these are my prayers. So I don’t know that they’re prayers in words, but…for me I’m trying to figure out how the choices that I make in my daily life are acts of devotion.3
When I heard Samin Nosrat’s words, I wondered, “What are my acts of devotion?” I thought about the long, long drive I was making. The women who worked with me until well past the end of their contracted hours to create this thing. Other late-night conversations with language partners, and with friends about our dreams for helping communities manifest their own dreams. The festivals, the conferences, the celebrations. How each step of the work becomes my own prayer, whether it’s from my job or the projects Chickadee is undertaking. All of it feels like coming home.
On my return across the mountains today, it was a constant fight to keep the car in the lane4 as my attention was drawn over and over to the miraculously brilliant gold cottonwoods lining the interstate as it hugs the Clark Fork River. Finally I exited the highway and pulled over near a bridge. I stood in the crisp fall air, my back warmed by an afternoon sun devoted, it seemed, to lifting me away from the drag of movement and into a world of stillness and color. The interstate’s thrum faded away as I watched yellow and sometimes red leaves whirl and spin on the water’s surface. A flicker’s alarm pierced the quiet, and chickadees chattered among themselves by the riverbanks. One especially vivid tree drew my eye again and again, burning bright against the deep blue October sky.
or Biiluuke, depending on your perspective
And that’s not the whole state. I could keep driving 200 miles, or 2 more hours, and still not breach the border with a Dakota.
Basically, me fighting the rental car’s lane minder…
As always, your blog gives me something to ponder. Thanks for brightening my day.
Good stuff as always - this is something I’m pretty sure I needed to hear right about now…