Nautical twilight

and a curious mind

I don’t know why, but my 21-year-old daughter cannot read an analog clock.¹ She’ll stroll directly in front of one, look at me and ask, “What time is it?” I find this behavior perplexing. Why wouldn’t a person want to know how to operate tools in their world? I could take it farther: why wouldn’t one seek out unknown information in order to embrace more knowledge, if not simply to function better?

I am an annoyingly curious person. I have been known to stop strangers and ask what they’re doing. The guy who showed up to blow out the irrigation pipes last fall comes to mind. He was definitely annoyed. Since taking my new job where I have to hunt down “state rate” hotel rooms, I’ve generated a lot of questions about that racket, and when I serendipitously (for me) got the owner of a motel on the phone for a reservation, I rained all those questions down on him.² I need new tires, but if go to Costco for them, will I need to wait a long time, longer than a shopping trip? Should I make an appointment? What if they don’t have the tires I want, what happens then? I’m curious, but I also want to know facts in advance so my brain can tease out A Plan.

Besides project planning, the project being my life, I also am generally interested in learning about a variety of other everyday phenomena which remain a mystery to me. Here are some topics I’ve looked up recently, because I had questions and not because I needed the information: slug reproduction; seal point tabby origins; shall vs. must; nightshade plants; civil vs nautical twilight.

And of course, I am full of other curiosities which I have not investigated. Here are a few:

• toilet physics³

• how did the first person who ate [fill in food here] figure out how to prepare it so it would taste good and also not kill them

• all the components of house construction

• plane ticket price algorithms

• fancy tent construction process — all those perfectly shaped and sized pieces with the exactly right tension

• railroad switchyards and the meanings of various train whistle patterns

• why a doctoral degree focusing on progressive education practices still requires an archaic two-day sit-down examination of memorized facts⁴

• bridges! I dislike driving over them, but the engineering is impressive

• amazon shipping⁵

• why sometimes a UPS package appears in your USPS mailbox

I can look most of this up, I know it. But I also like to leave a little mystery in the world. Questions give people something to talk about on long road trips. Also, I forget stuff! So maybe I once knew about train whistle patterns, but I learned that information 15 years ago and it’s slipped away. I can learn it again.

My new kitten, Stevie Nicks, is curious, as she should be.

And of course, I am always interested in people. I want to know everything! So, I pound them with questions. “Do you sleep on your side or your back? How many pillows do you use and where do you place them? Do you make your bed in the morning or is it still in sleep-mode when you fall into it at night? When do you start using the heavy blanket?” Sometimes they might feel interrogated. See? Annoying. I have to check myself.

If I cannot ask my questions (new neighbor, stranger in the grocery store, e.g.) then I ponder and speculate. I use context clues to make up a narrative and then test that story against perceptible facts. Also, I can tell you when each of my neighbors leaves and returns from their jobs, what their pets’ names are, how long they’ve lived in the townhouses, and so on. I’m not a stalker; I’m just really observant.

Bonus points if you know who this is and where you met her.

Well, all right. There may be some things I don’t care to learn. The difference between a gas and diesel engine, for example. Sewage treatment methods.⁶ Varieties of grass. You won’t find me looking up the smelting process or bonsai tree pruning. Math.

For what it’s worth, my daughter chooses to remain clock-illiterate not because she’s lazy or incurious as a person, but because “analog clocks are obsolete” and also “because it makes people like you so mad.” Naturally, I have a lot of questions about all of this.

1. I asked if she minded me sharing this with people. She thinks it’s all just..so…funny…

2. He didn’t seem to mind. It turned out we had some mutual friends so it wasn’t just awkward.

3. I think about this literally every day because my upstairs toilet is not functioning well

4. SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS

5. This is an absolutely FASCINATING article about amazon shipping! I still have questions though.

6. This is kind of a joke, because I served a few years on the Arlee Sewer District board and so I kind of know this, and really don’t want to know it.